Perhaps I am not focused enough in my scope, you know?  Perhaps I won’t achieve much of anything if I keep trying to do 3 or 4 jobs well simultaneously, or at least in my mind’s eye.  I think the priorities that I actually have need to line up with the ones in my mind.

It seems obvious, I guess.  It’s not when you’re living it.  It’s very easy to miss the mark, mentally, but continue to go on with whatever is best in the moment, over and over again, and not catch the incongruence.

Translation from Jen-ese: I’m realizing that I may have to give up on some goals/roles if I really want to move forward.  I’m just not sure which goals are best to drop, but I have a hunch… a hunch that music creation may be the thing to drop.  Not that I wouldn’t continue pursuits as a hobby, but to be honest with myself that it’s not worth the job frustration to constantly keep it in the mix.

Well, nothing is decided, but my gut is my gut.  We’ll see how this plays out, won’t we?  I’d have no regrets if that came to pass, you know.  I’m much closer to be in a place I am happy with because of my music skills and all of the time I have devoted to them, so there is no retroactive loss.  I see it more as a consolidation, rather than a loss.

Time will tell.

I want to create a non-profit that provides after school programs for kids to create and design video games, while also participating in contests where they can win scholarship money for college.

It seems like a smart idea, to me, but I’m just not sure of how to do it.

This is truth.  I have had this idea, in the back of my mind, that there must be a way to encourage a pro-creation, perhaps less consumerism-y attitudes in kids.  I know of so many people – yes, young people! – who are so driven to be hand-fed their entertainment, every day.  They don’t understand the value in creating, in crafting.  They hyperdigest games and look blankly at the screen when there is nothing left.

I want to offer an alternative.  I want to gear kids towards creating and solving, rather than having disks/cartridges that solve those problems for them.

Ideally, this would be a non-profit.  I would want the money coming in to go towards scholarships that enable kids with passion to create – and do so smartly!  – to go on to higher education with less stress on their parents.

Do I seem like an idealist?  I think this can be done, and can be effective.  Schools seem to be in dire need of more after-school programs around here, and in many other places.

Some bullet points on what I would probably need:

• Smart tools for creating simple games from scratch (think WarioWare DIY and Construct)
• Those who are passionate about teaching, and do it well, to help design curriculum and activities
• Math, art, computer science whizkids to help me make meaningful lessons in design
• I would love to incorporate teaching algorithms into the design curriculum… mmm.
• NON-PROFIT EDUCATION
• FUNDING EDUCATION (these are in CAPS because they are the most intimidating!)

If you have any tips, please pass them my way.