Posts Tagged → revisiting
Revisit: Personal Silence
As I enjoy the happy silence of an early Sunday morning, I love to think about how the silence is, itself, not so bad. There can be lots of love within silence, for example.
January 4th, 2008 in “Silence Theory”:
This Esquire article got me thinking [again] about the power of personal silence. There’s a gap between what people understand by what you say and what you don’t, especially whether you say anything or not.
In high school, I was a fairly depressed teenager. Typical small-town, too-smart kid with the right classes and the wrong people. I reached a point of bubbling anger that effervesced through the day, preps and jocks in wise avoidance after a few months. I was aggressive in indoor gym, especially with soccer and badminton. If that wasn’t enough to strike fear in the hearts of classmates, my silence usually did it. Nothing can communicate unfriendliness like a refusal to answer a question with a glare that could cut iron. The mystery, though… you felt the mystery of yourself after doing this for some time as what you didn’t say left all the more to your assailant’s imagination. I frightened myself a bit, after some time, as I realized that I didn’t have anything to fill in those empty spaces, either.
On the other hand, you can have the deepest, sweetest communications with those you love without an utterance passing. A total 360 to the same space!
What do you say when you speak? Are you chatty, covering up social discomfort, or filling a space that would otherwise seem too awkward to live within? Do you use silence to strengthen the words you do say? It’s kind of like keeping your word by not upholding promises to it unless it is of dire importance… people will know your actions or words mean business.
Revisit: IPC Reading: Visual Intelligence
I love this quickie from my ITP class!
November 5th, 2007 in “the TECH of Jen Grier”:
Phantom limbs… a strange concept I haven’t thought of since my old studies in meditation and the supernatural. The idea that your brain has such a part in conceiving senses as opposed to a direct route of feeling from what you to touch to what you know is definitely a disturbing thought. It all seems to happen too quickly for that to be true.
The “bunny taps” really got me. The premise is that you can tap two points across a distance on your body – say your arm – and feel a tap between those points, as if the sensation “hopped” across the distance. This happens with fairly quick taps. It’s a fascinating phenomenon of sensation.
Revisit: A Thought
I felt this when I lived in Jersey City. I felt this especially as a student at a big university in Manhattan… silence was truly running for its life.
November 9th, 2007 in “Silence Theory”:
“Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation… Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation.”
- Jean Arp
Revisit: Working in Silence
Not long ago, I was as soldering lackey at ITP for a semester. Talk about a fight for silence!
Today, by comparison, will be spent in a rural stretch of land where my apartment is. Occasionally, I will hear a car pass by on the road. One of my neighbors told me that the traffic on the road was “ghastly and loud,” that living near it was nearly “unbearable.” I had to pause, because this place has been one of the most peaceful places I have ever lived. We are a few hundred feet from one another, I’d wager.
There are times when I miss Japan for reasons like these. The kind of respect that people would have for strangers – for each other – was so high. It was communicated daily in those morning commutes, even when the A/C didn’t work in the subway cars. Regardless, you needed to respect those around you by moving little and making no sound or unnecessary gestures so everyone would keep cool in a difficult situation. That is humanity, to me, or maybe the essence of human collectives. Feeling that conformity for the greater good was both sublimating and fascinating.
October 22nd, 2007 in “Silence Theory”:
An intriguing topic came up in my Digital Audio Processing class at NYU: by listening to music while you study, it forces what you are reviewing to enter a different part of your memory. What you learn can be recalled easily, but you cannot interact with it deeply because of the multiprocessing of learning and, in a sense, ignoring the music around you.Interesting.
I tried doing 60 pages or so of reading yesterday for classes that needed to be internalized more than memorized. I did this in silence. By the time I finished, I found myself desperately craving sound, music, and change. However, I can definitely say that what I read is well inside my brain.
The key is balance, I believe. If you force yourself to encounter too many sensations at once, consciousness dictates that some information will be absorbed and the rest will have to subside. By trying to read deeply, you desensitize yourself to the background music…
The other day, I was working in the NYU: ITP fabrication shop on a midterm project. During the course of the evening, the hum of the shop and clatter of people created nearly unworkable conditions. I put in strong earplugs and, to my surprise, found them entirely ineffective. The speech of people was too impulsive – too much articulation – and that could not be numbed enough by my devices. I gave up the moment and left until less intrusive conditions resumed.
The respect of space, in such confined arenas, seems totally lost. When I traveled by train and subway in Japan, the unspoken law of quiet and spatial respect nearly deafened my preexisting Western cultural norms. I was instantly subdued to the group acceptance of these two rules by the sheer encompass of them. Somehow, we do not communicate the same understanding or observation of strong, positive social suggestions by ourselves: we need libraries or other declared quiet spaces for that purpose. The struggle of one soldering student, it seems, does not even tip a balance to the casual many.
Are we hardwiring ourselves to be ignorant of undesired sound scapes?
Are we losing sensitivity to the natural consciousness of our sound environment?
Would a good teaspoon of silence each day regain an awareness of what we are forced to miss?
I’m glad to resuscitate these older thoughts from a grave in a PHP database. It just didn’t seem right to copy/paste them into the Multiblog without some background and reflection.
Revisit: Why Canst Thou Save Thine Game?
Sometimes, my ire gets the best of me. I’m still frustrated by this problem despite the two years or so that have passed since then.
February 29th, 2008 on “Interaction Faction”:
I own a DS Lite. It’s a great little portable system, with tons of cool titles like Contact and New Super Mario Bros., yet there is a fundamental problem with many of these games.
Why, good people, am I unable to SAVE at any point in the game on a PORTABLE device?
What developer has the nerve to overlook this seemingly necessary feature of a gaming environment in which power off can occur at notably unexpected times? Where shorter play time is inherent to one’s commute?
Please don’t get me wrong – I can take a good Wario Ware fix like the next gamer, but is that my only option?
Let’s look at a fairly complex game with, absolutely, the ability to save at nearly any point: Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. Any turn in which you had character control, you could immediately save and power down, no questions asked, and arrive at the very same place in battle. Did I mention that saving is always possible outside of battle as well?
The leads me, naturally, to approach the DS as another system more likely to stay home than travel for fear that I play on my weekly commute, get through a small, yet worthwhile chunk of game, but find myself unable to save when I must depart and re-engage the world we live in. Futility at its finest.
Game developers, I beg you, PLEASE implement a save function at any time. Yes, I’ll leave out cutscenes if you throw it on every non-battle menu. We can even negotiate what time of battle engagement, if you like. For other genres, this is not yet standard!
Raise your portable system of choice high! Fight to save your game whenever you feel empowered to!
Revisit: Observing in NYC: TECH is everywhere.
While attending NYU, I had to keep a blog for the Physical Computing class I attending at Tisch: ITP (Interactive Telecommunications Program). Essentially, if you wanted to take any other class in the department, you had to start with this one. Although my final project flopped, I learned a whole lot about electronics and that soldering irons are my friends.
This post was for an assignment with a classmate; we were studying the behaviors of people with technology in the wild before offering up some design critiques and improvements.
From September 17th, 2007 in “the TECH of Jen Grier”:
TECH on the Road:
On my way to the city this morning, I picked up a discount pack of tickets for the Hudson-Bergen Lightrail from one of their [damned] vending computers. The touch screen is awful to see almost all of the time, and the buttons often don’t work on the number pad, forcing me to use cash instead of my debit card. (I only saw 3 other people purchase tickets as a I waited to the train. They used cash, too, and were often squinting at the screen. 9:15AM)
I jumped on the LightRail itself, which is a fabulous convenience of transportation, and without it makes my commute very expensive. (There were at least 10 people on my car, but it fluctuated often and people were moving about. 9:25AM)
I noticed the over-abundance of businessmen hunched over PDAs on the train (2 people at about 9:45AM), poking at touch-sensitive windows into their sheduled lives with a pinprick of a stylus. I never understood why something so small was intended for a demographic with large-ish hands
When I transferred to the PATH going to 33rd St, I charged up my MetroCard using my debit card. (At least 10 people used these machines within the few minutes I was there. They were doing a variety of purchases and refills, some restarting because the machine didn’t understand the order while others gracefully filled their card with ease.) More people than I could keep track of swiped their cards to get through the turnstile, but every one out of 20, I’d say, was a confused traveler who needed a moment to understand what was needed and what to buy (with gigantic luggage in tow).
On the PATH, there were music players everywhere. I wonder if I notice it more when I forget mine at home. I saw at least 15, a handful of which had the signature iPod earbuds. I brought my first-generation Shuffle with me today, too, and it immediately lessened the monotony of the trip.
When I got off the PATH at 9th St., I saw at least forty cellphone-gabbing power walkers as I approached Broadway. I’m still caught off-guard by people walking by without carrying a mobile phone: I don’t see the Bluetooth headset and I end up thinking they are talking to themselves in a crazy fashion.
Going home from my observation with Tom, I picked up a cheap pair of sandals on E 14th, and there was a cash register present to ring up my sale of exactly $5. Back in Jersey City, the big thing is to use the walkie-talkie function that some cell phones had, not unlike speakerphone. I suppose it’s easier than cradling it next to your ear on your shoulder all the time, but it seems strange to open your conversation to the public as you’re walking down the street. I only saw one person doing this today, but I see about 10 on average when I don’t have a commuting-to-NYC school day.
IN DEPTH:
I’m working with Tom on this project. We’re checking out the check-out at Whole Foods Market on E 14th St. and Broadway, up by Union Square. Their express check-out system was unlike anything I had seen before: think 5 lines, each with a color. A large LCD display at the head of the line shows five bands of color, and rolls a number down on each band periodically. That number is the register destination of the first customer in that color’s line: you see the number, go to the register, and check out. A loudspeaker reinforced the number of the next free register. This system is meant to handle a large volume of customers. However, we found that they had a staff member babysitting the front of the lines, often telling bewildered customers where to go or that it’s their turn to leave. He also ended mitigating disputes between customers who walked through without understanding the system, angering those who were still waiting.
Here’s our data so far on GoogleDocs. Some of my more detailed notes follow:
- Many people weren’t accustomed to the height of the LCD for information.
- Some customers were upset to find themselves waiting in line while a free register (denoted by a blinking light at that register) opened up, regardless of whether another customer was traveling to that register or not. The assumption, at a glance, was that the system was ineffective, and therefore a waste of time.
- The sound source of the loudspeaker was mounted high on a wall post to the right, not in the direction of the LCD. Most customers didn’t seem to acknowledge the messages it gave.
- The color/number system passes over the language barrier.
- Some people blazed through the lines to a free register with a blinking light, altogether bypassing other customers and the wait system.
Revisit: The First Step Into Silence
One of my more interesting writing experiments, Silence Theory, began shortly after I moved to Jersey City, then for an affordable life while attending school in the Village. This was the first post, written about 2.5 years ago. It seems so long ago, but I feel like I still have so much to think about in this area.
October 7th, 2007 in “Silence Theory”:
I’ve begun this blog in an effort to explore a phenomenon. Perhaps this is more personal than universal. If you’ve found me, I hope you find interest here.
This began with a load of laundry.
Laundromats, as you may be aware, are generally mechanism-filled spaces of suds and socks. The audible pangs of the washer to the creaks of every drier can make the visit a session in audio pollution very, very quickly.
What I did to change that was wear a set of earplugs for the session – a serendipitous find in my bag – and took note of the immediate calm I found myself in. The machines became more of a distant, indiscernible cloud… my tactile sense kicked up with the rumbles of rotation. I enjoyed the distance between myself and the conversations in the room, which were beyond my business, you know?
Entranced by this effect, I tried it again on the LightRail, traveling from my downtown apartment in Jersey City to Hoboken. A nearby toddler began to voice his upset with Thomas the Tank Engine when the plugs went in, and I was blissfully in my own, yet shared space. Again, there was the lack of machinery (moving trains tend to squeal and gurgle) and a deadening of all frequencies, making the space seem less aggravated, less uninvitational.
On the PATH, there was a similar feeling of disconnect. In a more dense space, there was less sense of selfness, but I was even more grateful for the separation between my ears and the metal grinding of the PATH. (If you’ve been, you know the shrieks of the track, high-pitched and obtrusive.)
These were all instances of silence and my own stillness, however. As I walked from the PATH station to school, I found that the earplugs themselves increased my sense of “inner sounds”, such as my breath and footstep reverberations. I could also feel my pulse within my head, which was alarming until I realized that it was, really, just my own, and it’s been happening without my notice for many years now. Initially, I had reservations about wearing the plugs in the city – would be too unaware of my surroundings that my safety would be forfeit? Somehow, that was not the case. Over the day, I had adjusted to my senses of touch and sight to accommodate for the “loss” of outer hearing, and I feel that I was acceptably attenuated to the new perception recipe I was stirring. The other aspect of ear plugs is that, although many high frequencies feel rolled-off, the impacts of normal and loud sounds generally do make it through. If I am in the city and a car approaches, for example, I can hear it and be aware, but it is a softer, round sound when it gets to me. I have the suddenness without the aggression.
I am interested in a less invasive sound experience while in the city and elsewhere. Perhaps further study will awaken the truths behind what we hear, our choices, and the outcome of our daily experiences.
*Disclaimer: I don’t recommend wearing earplugs for long amounts of time unless they are manufactured for that purpose. It can, in the least, be uncomfortable, but poor plugs inserted improperly run the risk of hurting your ears. Be safe, check things out on the packaging or look them up on the Web before delving into your own sound space experiments.
Rebirth, to Death, to Rebirth
For the next few days, I’d like to spend a moment each day rehashing a post from one of my original blogs before they all evolved into my shiny Multiblog. Today’s is from almost two years ago, back when I was still completing my graduate studies at NYU. I had started “Interaction Faction” as a means for venting my game development and design snafus, which were daily at the time. I was also angrier/more emotional about programming back then, probably because my thesis was my first serious coding project.
From May 8th, 2008, on “Interaction Faction”:
Taking a moment from my critique of game design, in an hour of desperation I offer to you my ray of hope through this epic retelling of adversity.
Death. All I could think about was how to throw my shiny UT3 collector’s box around my apartment, as the editor, just days before a presentation of a project, would not allow me to look at the properties of my builder brushes. Oh, the window would show, but you know those delicious dark gray sub-boxes? They remained unopenable, shut like a nun’s panties. Crawling around the UT3 forums proved futile until one post, one booming voice echoing:
“When judgment is at hand, delete the UTEditor.ini in the UTGAME\Config files in your Documents folder, for the righteous shall be saved.”
Well, I wasn’t saved yet – it didn’t work. HOWEVER, deleting UTEditor.ini along with its cohorts UTEditorUserSettings.ini and UTEditorKeyBindings.ini was successful. The editor was restored to harmony and joyous modding.
I hope this solution also helps those with unreasonably skewed brushes and other varieties of bizarre parameters that the editor saves for the following session… for your convenience!
A Previous Life
I just remembered a very, very awesome trip I had a few years ago in the ancient, mystical, tech-savvy country of Japan.
If you’re curious about my adventures, you can still read about them! It’s strange for me to read this old travel log now, as there are so many things that would have been less surprising if my first trip had been done when I was older.
Enjoy!
http://jen-in-japan.blogspot.com/
Reflections on Theses Past
In a few months, I will celebrate the first anniversary of graduating from NYU with a Masters in Music Technology. It will also be my thesis’ first birthday.
I recently read over both my undergraduate AND graduate theses. Yes, both. I did them a day or so apart, and took notes during the entire process.
The writings appear to be worlds apart. My undergraduate work is stuffy; it doesn’t sound like me writing, perhaps more like a professor or two being channeled as I pushed that project out the door. My graduate thesis – although under greater technical restraints – reads as more relaxed, conversational dive into a niche audio programming/designing topic. I’m glad to have a “professional” outlet for my thoughts (this blog!), and to see that my writing style doesn’t pass away with my last thesis.
Anyway, back to the recent thesis, which has raised a few questions about how to proceed in my non-freelance, non-otherpeoplework life:
- Working with Flash, Java, and Javascript concurrently isn’t wise. It worked in most browsers for the most part, but it’s begging to break if I’m not babysitting it every time a new major browser is released or something changes with one of the three languages.
- Flash or Unity? I’m still torn on which to develop side projects in seriously. I’m always working in Flash, but after developing two simple games in the medium, I’m not sure that it’s the way to go anymore.
- JMSL and JSyn have my hands tied. Moving solely to Flash or Unity makes using either library quite difficult, if not impossible. Therefore… should I consider translating the aspects I like into a new audio library? Unlike these existing libraries, I could gear it towards the specific needs of a reactive or interactive soundtrack.
- If I make a new library, I will also need MIDI supported tools to quickly import composition ideas. This, to me, is a must for getting what I want working/out the door in a reasonable amount of time. I’ll be making these tools myself, though, on top of whichever methods I develop.
I suppose these are the big questions I need to pan out for the near future. I’m feeling better about taking a break from my thesis/kicking myself about the millions of things I didn’t solve with it. It’s easy to get lost with so many different kinds of technology coming about every day. Dare I say it… there may be too many imagined possibilities, freezing the average sound designer in an icycle of indecision.
